***CAREBEAR UNITED***

CAREBEAR UNITED

We are a team of titans. True to our motto, we seek and destroy. Be it your defence, your attacks, or even your careers. With a death star angel watching over us, we are unbeatable. Our patented style, 'The Movement (TM)', allows us to put the ball in your net with or without your permission. Sometimes we even put it in ours. The point is, when you step on the pitch, be prepared for innocence lost and wounds that will never heal. By the time we are done dishing out our touching tackles and sentimental shots, you will wish you were in Patpong instead. Don't expect pity, only sincere laughter will greet your screams. And don't bother asking for a death row pardon either, it is already two minutes too late.

So the question you need to ask yourself now is...

DO YOU DARE...TO CARE?

For help with wordplay posts, please click

Welcome to the Homeground of the
CARE BEARS

Do you DARE to CARE?

TEAM TALK

[Tuesday, November 21, 2006]

MATCH REPORT
21/11/06

Venue: The Chinese High Soccer Court
Timing: 0930hrs
REAL Timing: 1000hrs
Opponents: Commando United
Formation:

Fresh from their exertions in the Bangkok Champions League, the Carebears plunged straight into action just one day after their arrival onto Singapore soil. Their adversaries were once again Commando United, this time stronger, meaner and fitter than ever before. The Carebears faced an uphill task in this match with their weariness from their 72km march around the shopping malls and markets in Bangkok.

Club schemer Albertini stated in the pre-match conference, 'We are still 2 minutes too fresh from our Bangkok trip. Though our match play and attacking play have deteriorated, our wordplay is now unbeatable.' Our reporter wanted to question him further, but our questions were met with a firm 'shhh'. He then proceeded to give us a pre-match gift.

A bag of pre-emptive 'shh' with our name on it

The Carebears were happy to welcome back Tako Pachi in their latest encounter with Commando United, who replaced Angki from their previous match. The Bears were also relieved to have David back in the team again, having speedily recovered from his MVCEP moment in the previous match.

Once again, playmaker Kaiyi ignored the plight of his fellow team-mate and took another hair from Tak's wig, making an appearance only late in the first half. With the Kaiyi-Tako Pachi and the Albertini-Yee Hung Pyo combination, coupled with their entertaining wordplay, just how will the Carebears fare this time?

High points:

- Yee Hung Pyo takes first blood with a close-range volley from the right. His goal celebration is performed by Albertini who hands over his keeper position. Once between the sticks Yee Hung Pyo proves his worth once again with acrobatic saves and brave blocks. Still he happily concedes the No.1 position to club keeper Wooki, who is definitely better than him in all aspects other than maybe getting the goal kick out of the penalty box.

- Albertini starts to take the criticism from the fans seriously and begins to reveal his true self again. Dismissed as past his prime and overly-sentimental, this gritty, no-nonsense display will go a long way in silencing his critics. Even then, he has his other ways of silencing them...

- Kai Yi makes up for coming 2 minutes too late by scoring a wonderful left-footed volley into the right corner of the net while under pressure on the right flank. He then proceeds to score another spectacular right-footed placement shot into the right bottom corner, leaving the keeper no chance.

- David shows no signs of his recent back injury by producing another classy display as main ball-winner of the team. Pulling balls from right under the opponent's noses with his powerful long legs, his form has seen him become one of the defensive pillars of the team. Will come in handy should Albertini revert to his pussified self again once the next tearjerker Korean drama is released...

- Tako Pachi scores a well-taken placement goal into the bottom right corner after good work from Kai Yi and Albertini. Another spectacular passing move between Albertini, Tako and Kai Yi ends with a right-footed volley by Tako, but the shot is well-saved by the keeper. Entertaining stuff.

- With the game nearing its end, Tako finds himself one-on-one with the keeper on the right flank. He unselfishly crosses the ball to the other flank where Yee Hung Pyo pounces with a diving header into the bottom left corner to add another rare headed goal to his scoring tally.

Low Points:

- The Carebears' lower fitness levels show through after some vigorous play. The Commandos take full advantage of their fitter physiques and stamina by stabbing 2 goals past the keeper in quick succession.

- Poor finishing with Yee Hung Pyo and Kai Yi the main culprits see the Carebears throw away one game, though they had enough chances to finish the game off early.

- Yee Hung Pyo's first touch and overall outfield play is still found wanting and he will have to improve quickly if he wants to avoid putting on the dreaded gloves permanently.

- Albertini and Tako Pachi pang-seh the Bears for lunch even after some stunning wordplay from Kai Yi and Yee Hung Pyo to encourage them.

Overall, the Bears have done just enough to skip the hairdryer treatment. Though their play and fitness was not up to their usual standard, their efforts just saw them through this latest confrontation with the red berets.

-=H.=- |10:40 PM|

[Wednesday, November 15, 2006]

MATCH REPORT 09/12/06
Venue: AMK Homeground
Timing: 0930hrs
REAL Timing: 1100hrs
Opponents: Red Indian Team & Mongolian Team
Formation:

A depleted Carebear United continues to defend their homeground despite sorely missing the tricks and flicks of Tak Wee and the scintillating wordplay of Kai Yi, who are both on training stints at Shui Bian FC. They are slated for a quick return though, after the club collapsed despite extensive sponsorship from SOGO. Once again displaying his flair with words, Kai Yi told Yee-SPN: "As soon as I heard that Shui Bian FC had disbanded, my immediate thought was: Sui Bian lor." What a magnificent play of words!

Back to the match - after commendable effort by Albertini, four players were successfully summoned: Yee, David, and his cousin Kenneth. Whether they were summoned in time was another matter, as the 0930 match started only at 1100hrs. Once again, club keeper Wooki was 2 minutes (and 3 hours) too late, effectively banishing No.2 Yee to the dreaded goal-line.

At the pre-match conference, Albertini praised the resilience of the Carebears. "We are really just about pulling through," he said. "These are lean times for the club, but I'm sure we will enter the winter break on a high." He smiled after that, but soccer pundits are debating worldwide: Was it a part of a smile, or was it a facade of his tearing self?

David continues to play through the pain barrier, sporting a flashy elbow guard/enhancer around his PTI-obliterated wrist. Yee returns from a 2-week absence, desperately eager to restart his scoring form again after critics questioned his loyalty to the game. Albertini's confidence proved to be justified, as the Carebears shook off any lingering doubts in their ability and fitness to take the game to the 2 opposing teams.

High points:

- Yee sprays a long pass to Albertini on the right flank. Albertini flicks the oncoming ball upwards, lets it bounce and then unleashes a stunning volley into the top left. The keeper was simply rooted to the spot, and who can blame him? What an amazing finish from the most unlikely of sources!

- Kenneth receives the ball at the center line, displays some nifty footwork to bamboozle the defenders before slamming the ball to the left of goal from distance, drawing instant comparisons to Mikel Arteta.

- Yee attempts an audacious aerial back-flick on a high ball that goes wide. He is rewarded for his acrobatic efforts by a back strain that he thankfully managed to shake off.

- After a long arduous match with Red Indian & Co., Yee finally ends things. He capitalizes on a rebound, latching onto the ball and with a swift turn, desperately blasts it towards goal which sneaks in past the keeper.

- Albertini is in red hot form with his resolute defending. Refused to cower at the hulky frame of Ronaldo and went into every challenge wanting blood. He lives up to his MVCEP status with a tremendous shot that injures an opponent's hand, earning a free-kick as well! What intelligent play!

- After the injection of much-needed funds from an Arabian-Russian-Icelandic investor, the Carebears waved goodbye to their flailing ball. In its place is a new stupendous orange Barcelona ball, which is sure to end up in everyone's net in time. Including the Carebears, of course.

Low Points:
- The injured opponent swiftly delivers retribution upon the wrong person. Yee is left rolling on the ground after a deadly whack on the right shin that jerked out more tears than any Princess Hours tearjerker Albertini can muster up.

- Yee's confidence between the sticks is in smithereens after conceding several goals, mostly close-range shots that he managed to get a hopeful finger to. He has since vowed never to keep again, as he did last week and the week before that, and the week before that, and....

- The Carebear's poor finishing is exposed, after a series of missed chances that left all of them tearing their hair in frustration. However their hair stayed firmly on despite repeated efforts, showing that there's no point forcing it. If it wants to stay, you can't tear it out, and if it wants to leave, you can't keep it in. Wise words indeed. Anyway, back to the game. The Carebears' finishing sucked.

- Wooki's no-show left the fans stunned, as it was during tough times like these that the players have to stand up and be counted. However it will not matter. Said a Worried Fan, 'No matter what happens, I will still support Wooki with all my heart.' Another Happy Fan cheered, 'Wooki wo ai ni!!!' When told of the fans' unerring support of him, Wooki gushed: 'I love idiot pots...' He was subsequently fined two weeks' wages, with one week's wages deducted for every minute he was too late.

MVCEP: Albertini
Earned a free kick while sending an opponent screaming for the medics. Indirectly led to Yee's bruised shin after providing the opponent with motivation for murder. The board is still out whether he will continue to be the MVCEP for the month of Dec, but he has done his chances no harm with his performance in this match.

-=H.=- |4:24 PM|

CareBears play out entertaining match with Commando United

Nostalgia was prevalent in the air as the Bears came back to the place that started off all their careers, the Chinese High street court. With the likes of Tak, Wooki and Koon all on international duty, the remaining Bears were able to heave a sigh of relief as they were spared the clinical back passes and the 32-33 combination for once. Making the appearance for the Bears were David, Angki, Albertini, Kai and Yee Hung and their adversary this time round were newly promoted Commando United.

With Kai taking a hair from Tak’s wig, the bears were forced to play a 4 on 5 against the fitness monstrosities of the Commando formation. Despite the differences in number, the Bears were still able to keep their heads held high as they tormented the Commando’s defense with through passes and overlapping runs. In defense, touching tackles was dished out on a regular basis by Albertini and with David, the opponents just cant see where the ball is going with that exquisite ball pulling skill. In goal, there was the irresistible Yeehung who was virtually untouchable. Is he sending out a message to his goalkeeping buddy Wooki that his position as the number 1 is in peril?

Throughout the match, many goals were scored. Credit belongs to the whole of the team with their understanding of each other movement and relentless pursuit of loose balls. The highlight of the match: The Commando launches an attack and sent a high ball forward. Reading the pass perfectly, Albertini goes up in style and executed “The Idol Header” complete with Idol facial expression. The ball goes flying in the direction of David who somehow managed to connect with “A Happy Header” also complete with smile and maximum Y exponent. The ball finally found the feet of YeeHung who connects with a vicious first time volley, and celebrated his way back to the goal-line.

The final piece of the puzzle is complete as Kai finally makes his appearance, bringing another dimension to the ball game with his dribbling and fanciful tricks, delighting the Bears on several occasion by scoring when you least expects him to with perfect placement and weighting. YeeHung also continued his fine goalscoring form but was never allowed to develop as the Scorer Keeper rule kept him in goal for most of the game.
Highlights of the Match:

Albertini and Angki did multiple 1-2s and Angki found the goal at his mercy. No mercy there.

Kai sneakily approached the half way line and scored with a curler into the right corner.

David is free with the ball right at his feet. He takes a ferocious swing at the ball but he only kicked space as fluffed the shot and landed on his ball. An MVCEP moment.

-=albertini=- |4:23 PM|

[Monday, November 13, 2006]

MATCH REPORT
Venue: Ang Mo Kio Homeground
Timing: 0930hrs
REAL Timing: 1000hrs

It was an emotional return for the Carebears to their beloved Ang Mo Kio homeground after serving a 15-match homeground ban for a myriad of infringements including kicking the green dustbin, pussy play, and not updating the team blog. Sadly for the Bears, 'emotional' in this instance stood for feelings of anguish, despair, fear and paranoia as they were unceremoniously kicked out of the court time and again.

Justice was also served on a silver platter by the Justice League (TM), in the form of unstoppable volleys, entertaining play and vicious shots. To the Bears' merit, they matched them like-for-like with unstoppable Koon passes, entertaining blunders and vicious tackles. Recce trooper and wrecky passer LTA Lee Li Koon noted that Justice League had increased their ranks with more sidekicks, to the nods of LTA(NS), 3SG(NS), CPL(NS) others.

For this outing the Carebears displayed their European experience after stints at Woodlands, NIE, and Boon Keng, resulting in them further experiencing defeat, loss, and trauma.

MATCH HIGHLIGHTS:

- There seems to be little danger as Kaiyi saunters down the left flank under the attention of a marker. We couldn't have been more wrong as Kaiyi swiftly brings the ball to his right foot and blasts the ball into the bottom right of goal using his outer foot. A magnificent goal.

- Angki was obviously inspired by Kaiyi's wonder goal as he also produces his own moment of magic with a right-footed volley while closely marked in front of goal into the bottom right corner using his outer foot as well.

- Quan shows off his unrivalled heading ability by timing his run to perfection to meet Wookie's goalkick with an angled header into goal. Sadly, it is flagged for offside.

- Yee breaks his scoring duck in the best way possible with a thunderous volley from the right flank which hits the left post before going in. Would have probably burst the net if there was one.

- Jun Cheng stamps his authority on the game with lung-bursting runs, timely interventions and perfect tackles. Cleaned up any defensive mistakes by his teammates, though he has cleaned up much worse things. Proceeds to score an opportunistic goal from a pass by the opposing keeper to further consolidate his position as one of the best all-round players in the game.

- Justice League scores and scores and scores and scores, using right foot, left foot, via the right post, left post, and crossbar, but all into goal. However they are handed an extremely rare defeat with a brace from Hardguy who took his chances well. Will the Justice League recover from their defeat? Stay tuned for Part II next Saturday, same time, same channel!

MVP: Ang Jun Cheng
Without a doubt, he is pushing fellow DMC Albertini further and further down the pecking order with his industrious play and superhuman work rate. Though he is definitely a noob at scheming with his good heart and staunch moral values, his play more than makes up for his lack of mind games and devilish schemes. To celebrate, Albertini has invited Ang to his new house on the 37th floor to motivate him further, or as Albertini succintly put it 'to give him a little push'.

MVCEP: No one
Pussy, Pussy, Pussy. The Carebears are losing their physical edge, Albertini being a prominent example. Once a behemoth with his kendo sword, low CG and hairy legs, he has now become a gentle giant, albeit not a very tall one. Has even resorted to meowing at the most inappropiate times to further vanquish any lingering doubts that he is becoming a pussy. Experts have attributed this to his constant viewing of sentimental tear-jerkers like 'Princess Hours' and 'Windstruck'.

We sincerely *jiggle* hope that he will prove us wrong at the next game with more bloodshed than a blood bank bombing.

-=H.=- |10:18 PM|

Updated: Nov. 12, 2006, 11:00 PM SG

Care Bear United in fine form

The Care Bears returned to their home ground in Ang Mo Kio after a string of games away from home. They recorded their largest turn out since two years ago, after which most of the players were called up for international duty. The Care Bears that turned up included Ahn JC, Albertini, David’leilei’, Park JS, Pnuto, Park YH, Lee KY, Tako Pachi, Quan van Ning and Wookie. Guest player Ahn Ki, who was on trial with the Care Bears and might soon take up the Care Bear colours (and heart, and weapons, and motto), was awarded a start in the Care Bear United team. Tak Juniors FC also fielded 3 players: Wei Sheng, Hard Guy and No. 10. The Court was beckoning and the players soon took to the pitch. After a brief spell away from home, the Care Bears were eager to put their movement to the courts.

The first match that soon commenced was between Care Bears team 1, Juniors V, against a team that they had met previously before. The opposite team had a clinical striker (orange striker) who upheld a record of 100% conversion rate before being ended by a vicious maul by Care Bear United’s controversial keeper, Wookie. In addition, they fielded an ear-studded player who seemed to have the tricks and the flicks and the kicks. The match soon went underway and the pace picked up with each overlapping run. Seeing action at both ends, Juniors V were unlucky not to score the first goal and were soon evicted from The Court after two good goals from quick counterattacks by the orange striker.

The Care Bears then brought on their veterans who had already formulated a game plan while observing from the sidelines. They started slow, stroking the ball around while looking for opportunities. At the same time, the Care Bears put two men on the orange striker to deny any chances. The game soon gave way to the pressure and the Care Bears soon found themselves making multiple foraging runs. The overlaps were timed to perfection and the passing was truly worthy of the players. However, it was only after a few tries before they got their first goal from a neat through ball that left Kai ‘The Dictator’ Yi free to shoot. Drawing the keeper, he slotted the ball into the net for the Care Bear’s first goal of the day. The orange striker’s team tried to salvage a point by constantly being on the attack, but they were denied by staunch defending and tight marking. This was a display of total football where the team attacks and defends as a unit and the Care Bears were in total control. The second goal came when the opposing team defender, under pressure by Albertini, made the mistake of hazarding a back pass to his keeper. Spotting the opportunity, Kai Yi raced forward to tap the ball out of the keeper’s reach and into the back of the net. 2 – 0 and the Care Bears were radiating the fine form that saw them conquered the courts last season.

The matches flowed with good football and better footballing ethics, resulting in many scintillating runs and even more dazzling goals. A few noteworthy goals came from Park Yee Hung, who has been under much fire from his critics due to his lack of goals. His ability as a shot stopper between the Care Bear sticks has given rise to questions as to whether he should be converted to replace Wookie. However Park YH silenced his critics with his best performance of the season yet. Yee Hung, who could have gotten more goals if given more time outfield (this was sadly due to the scorer-keeper rule as the Care Bears are still looking to add another keeper to their side), took the ball first time from the right flank. The volleyed ball burned a red-hot incandescence and screamed towards the left side of the goal. The keeper was left rooted and could only watch in dismay as the ball ricochet off the left upright and into the goal. Park YH replaced Ahn Ki who quickly dispatched the challenging team with a well-placed shot to unleash Park YH once again. Park YH then absolutely vindicated his recent form with a quick turn and an even quicker release at the center of the court to drive home his resolution to be the Care Bear’s undisputed striker.

As the Care Bears found their momentum, the proverbial figures of the Justice League descended on the court. However, the aura of resplendent invincibility was absent. Instead, internal strife gripped the team and without Superman to pull them together, they soon fell victim to their own altercations. Entering the court without Green Lantern and their super powers was a mistake, and they soon showed signs of fallibility. The flash was slow on the ball, dare devil couldn’t find the target and even Batman fell prey to several dexterous dribbles. They were no doubt a shadow of their own past. On any other day, they would escape unscathed, but this was the day the Care Bears took back their home ground. This was the day they would open the floodgates and unleash the terror and destruction. This was also a day they would commit the same mistakes they did when they started out (i.e. Koon passes, own goals, hilarious blunders etc.). Justice League managed to sustain their runs in the court but soon gave in to the pressure. Two goals from Hard Guy saw them banished from the courts they once justified. It was a cheers moment. As the Justice League left the court, they were perturbed as to what could have been the cause of their downfall. A few suggestions by our blog columnists suggest that Albertini has been going on trial at the JL secret hideout and this has led to the Justice League being subjected to constant mind gaming. After they were expelled, the Justice League slipped into the abyss and were unable to reclaim their supremacy.

Having dispelled the Justice League, the Care Bears fielded David’leilei’, who was recovering from a wrist operation. David ran all over the court and his defending, blocking, dribbling and finishing left the spectators gushing in utter admiration. Three goals in three successive runs summed up all that was to be said for a player who has been missing the action (though the poor form of the Care Bears might have something to do with the absence of this enigmatic player).

All in all, a great day for the Care Bears, who have once again found the reason as to why they love this game so much.

Positive points of the day:

- Good goals from all the members of the team

- Wookie denying Justice League and other teams with point blank saves

- David’s back. ‘Olei lei!’

- Albertini, after watching Korean tear jerkers, vowed to touch players with his tackles

- Movement in full flight

- Hard Guy’s career ending shots

- Great turn out!

- Ahn JC racing all around the court to block the shots. He’s the world’s fastest Korean

- Park Yee Hung, Ahn Ki, Tako Pachi, Albertini forming a superb partnership

- Kai 'The Dictator' Yi scored the first header of his career against Pnuto

Negative points of the day:

- Park YH’s first touch, overall fitness of everyone, Pnuto’s finishing

- No major careers ended

- No more No. 0. Still scouting

- Quan van Ning fail to find the net on a few occasions. Is this the end of his era?

- Pnuto still not finding the net as many times as he should

MOTM: David

Despite missing out on most of the season due to a wrist injury, David never looked like he was gone from the game. Three goals, a myriad of tackles and blocked shots, David gave the crowd something to cheer about other than his antics. Although featuring in the lesser of two halves, he nevertheless proved to be the player to watch. Pace, power and precision describes David’s tackles, dribbles and shots. A player to watch, David is without doubt the man of the match.

MVCEP: Hard Guy

Though careers ended with knee high tackles, one-inch punches and rotating scissor kicks win the spectators’ support (as well as media coverage), Hard Guy proved that you could end careers with a rocket shot. Breaking the hearts of JL fans, his two goals thoroughly ended the Justice League legacy that was written into the concrete battlefield. An unsolved mystery would be to what extend did Albertini play a part in orchestrating the downfall of the Care Bear’s arch rivals?

-=kAi Yi=- |2:57 AM|

Updated: Nov. 12, 2006, 08:30 PM SG

Care Bears lift Rooney Training Ban

Ang Mo Kio, Singapore, Nov 12 (Routers) - Care Bear United have lifted their training ban on Rooney for his teammates’ inability to accommodate his playing style after the players and coaching staff met on Saturday.

Care Bear United said the players in contention with the 19-year-old’s playing style had cleared the air in a meeting on Saturday and the Kimchi striker would resume training with the team to prepare for the next league game.

The announcement follows the news that Care Bear United are preparing for a high profile field match against David’s XI, a team whose playing style, strength, weakness and weapons are virtually unknown to the Care Bears. It would be the first field game for Care Bear United since it’s inauguration and tempers, studs, and spanners would be expected to fly, while mind games will set the stage for the showdown.

Rooney was banned from training with the Care Bears towards the end of last season after seeing a dip in form. He only managed to convert half his chances, and although the amount would make up more than what the other Care Bears could score collectively, there was dissent among the squad. Players were unhappy that Rooney did not bring his teammates into the play when the emphasis was on movement and possession, two of Rooney’s shortcomings.

Care Bear United’s sporting director said earlier this week that Rooney would be back, but there must be a mutual understanding between the players and Rooney. There is no ‘I’ in ‘team’ and ‘me’ would have to be formed under very contrived conditions: if your name can be rearranged to be spelt Den-‘The God’-zyl.

Rooney, who has a reputation for breaking down defenders and goalkeepers physically and mentally, has yet to feature in any of Care Bear United’s games this season.

The Care Bears are currently on form after a spell away from home, and it could very well be sooner rather than later that they find their scoring boots and once more dominate the courts at Street 31.

-=kAi Yi=- |2:54 AM|

THE TEAM

WOOKIE - GK
The Barthez of the team, Wookie is the undisputed No.1 for Carebear Utd. Although not blessed with any of the relevant attributes of quick reflexes or ball handling, he compensates for it with his Korean Idol looks and Gothic bracelet/choker. His unique ability to self-destruct has irked many fans, but his sterling performances when he is on form quickly pacifies them. Many predict his position will be coming under threat in future from an up-and-coming keeper, Understudy, who was scouted from the AMK Academy. However till then, Wookie will continue to deputise between the sticks. Speaking of sticks, please do not injure your arm by piercing it with one.

JIESONG - DC
As Keeper of the Grove, Jie Song commands twin tree trunks which are indispensable for blocking shots, bulldozing past defenders etc. His quick acceleration from his triple jump days coupled with his raw strength makes him feared and respected on the field. His unique ability, the Force of Nature, consistently gets Carebear Utd out of trouble. If you thought Mother Nature was powerful, try taking on the Big Daddy...

DAVID - DC
A born sweeper, David possesses legs that can really sweep. His windscreen wiper technique of flailing his legs side to side creates an air vacuum, forming an impregnable fortress around him and driving opponents crazy trying to beat him. A fan favorite with his kinky accessories like flower hats, he can often be seen emitting wierd noises like 'nai nai' and 'lai lai' that confuse his opponents. When combined with Jie Song, the 2 form an unbeatable defence. His passion for soccer is only matched by his love for Zoids.

JUNCHENG - DC
Many an opposing striker has smelt a goal and gone in for the shot, only to find themselves staring at 6 solid rock hard abs. A rock in defence, Jun Cheng possesses lightning pace and acceleration and gives Carebear Utd additional attacking options with his incisive runs and decisive finishing. A fireman by occupation, but moonlights at night washing clothes with his natural washing board.

ALBERT - DMC
Knees. Shins. Ankles. Ligaments. You name it, he's zhammed it. The veritable defensive stalwart of the team, Albert destroys opponents' attacks as easily as he destroys their careers. Armed with a low CG, tough body frame and a kendo sword, he sends out an unspoken warning to all opposing attackers who value their lives. Although already a monster physically, Albert's mind games and schemes makes him an absolute mental behemoth. Has never been carded in his entire career, instead causing the referee to get sent off on countless occasions. Arms flailing and kendo sword swinging, Albert is simply every opponent's nightmare. The official armskote IC of the team.

KENNETH - MC
A late inclusion into the Carebear ranks, Kenneth has quickly made himself at home. His occasional flashes of brilliance have proved to be match winners, and his solid work rate and positive attitude has seen Carebear fans receive him warmly. A cousin of fellow Carebear David, he aims to emulate his older cousin's successes, though not the wierd calls and flower hats.

TAKWEE - AML
If his shiny earrings don't dazzle you, Tak Wee's amazing ball skills will. As David constantly testifies, Tak Wee is unanimously the star of the team, the vital link between defence and attack. His massive will to win is evident for all to see - he would rather lose his hair than lose the game. Although he is flawless on the pitch, it is not so off it. Tak Wee is ambroiled in many scandals in his personal life, his infamous XXX video with Annie and videos from the hidden cam installed in his toilet being just the tip of the scandalous iceberg.

LIKOON - AMR
Affectionately known as 'Peanut' by his team-mates, Likoon has put his career at AMK under threat by refusing to sign the contract offered by Carebear Utd, instead signing for the SAF on a 6 year deal. His ability to hold the ball and shoot from distance are his main attributes. Has proved on several occasions that he is able to change the course of the game with a single pass....to the opposing striker.

ER JIE - AMC
Angki Er Jie is his name, and attacking is his game. A veritable goalscorer, he is capable of nifty footwork and splitting passes as well. Rumour has it that he was christened 'Orbit' in his early playing days as a reference to his off-target shots, but he has been quick to deny it. His finishing has since improved by leaps and bounds. If he continues at this rate, he will surely be on his way to be the new Carebear no. 1 Keeper. All the best, Angki!

KAI YI - PLAYMAKER
The brains of the team, Kai Yi is acknowledged as the original creator of 'The Movement', which has enabled Carebear Utd to dominate courts and thrash opponents without even unleashing a single adjustable spanner. Constantly researching on new tactics and plays as well as watching soccer videos for hours on end, Kai Yi has accumulated a wealth of knowledge in that footballing brain of his, threatening to snatch the tag of 'The Professor' from Wenger himself. On the pitch, Kai Yi uses his footballing brain to great effect, creating chances out of seemingly nothing and occassionally scoring some vital goals on his own. His intellect is matched only by Albert, who always succeeds in counter-scheming Kai Yi's counter-scheme on Albert's counter-scheme on Kaiyi's counter-scheme on Albert's scheme.

YEE HUNG - FC
One of the finishers of the team, Yee Hung has not only honed his volleying/shooting skills with Carebear Utd, but also his goalkeeping skills, thanks to the 'Scorer-Keeper' rule implemented by the team. Occasionally grumbles about lack of playing time thanks to him scoring a goal in 5 minutes before keeping the goal for 20 minutes, but is generally happy to stay with the team. His loyalty is being put under question currently with his frequent calls to 'disband', but is being persuaded to 'flail' by Albert and Co.

QUAN NING - FC
Temperamental striker, known to not show up for several matches consecutively. However when he does make an appearance he is bound to dazzle the courts with his ball skills and sublime finishing, not to mention his deadly aerial ability. Able to head a ball harder and more accurately than most mortals can kick it, Quan Ning is a devastating attacking presence to deal with. When he's present, of course.

ROONEY - SC
3 words - Hardcore Anyhow Zham. Scores goals by the dozen but misses chances by the million. Still, many would agree a score of 12-0 isn't too bad. His relentless running and accelerating has seen him clock Kenyan-killing mileage, and with his psychotic look complete with crew cut and tucked in orange shirt, Rooney is definitely the nightmare of his opponents, and even his own teammates!