TEAM TALK

[Saturday, October 21, 2006]

CAREBEARS TRIUMPH IN NIE INVITATIONAL 2006


It wasn’t the Tale of Two Cities, nor was it The Romance of the 3 Kingdoms. But you wouldn’t expect less of NIE Invitational 2006 where 4 teams were pitted against one another in the grounds of NIE. For the visually stimulated, there were scintillating soccer skills and breathing taking movements. For those more subtle, there were the conspiring mind games which no doubt provided the perfect curtain-riser to the event of the season.

Facing tough opponents like NIELegends Team 1, Team 2 and FC Marshaller, one could not blame Carebears pessimism with several keys player missing with the likes of Ah Quan and Rooney all away on personal reasons. Not to mention Carebear’s deadliest player in front of goal, be it friend or foe, Pnuto was also missing on national duties. With the transfer window closing down, Carebear United managed the coup of the season by loaning in Denzyl from Denzyl FC, at the dead of the hour. Carebears were then further boosted by the return of speedy defender JunCheng from Operation TauHway & Flapping Hair. Despite the sudden boost in his attack and defense, Bears marketing icon, Albertini, was still not convinced in his side ability and labeled his side as mere pretenders to the throne in his pre match interview. Such is the controversial nature of his speech that experts have discarded as mere mental games with NIELegends gaffer Kenny. However Albertini have reiterated that he is sincere in his words and urged the fans to treat him seriously. He proceeded to give a sincere laugh.

As so, the Team List stands as follows.
GK – Wooki

DC – Tax DC – JieSong DC – JC

DMC – Albertini

MC – Kaiyi MC – Angki

FW – Denzyl

SC – Yee Hung


Game 1
Carebears vs NIELegends Team 1

Being one of their old nemesis, NIELegends boosts a strong and powerful attack, but not one to stand down to challenges, Carebears decided to play the opponent's game and fielded a side focused on aggression and brute force with Jiesong, Tax and Albertini all known for their angst. To provide the element of class, there was Denzyl and Angki pulling their weight up front. The 2 sides started the game cautiously, neither being too adventurous. With the Bears not settling too well, NIELegends begin strutting their stuff and came close to drawing first blood as Kenny broke free from the reins of our defenders and faced a 1v1 with our keeper. Kenny drills in a shot at the bottom left hand corner. Reading the shot perfectly, Wooki got down in lightning speed and stopped the shot at point blank range right under his bulky frame. Kenny couldn’t believe his eyes and neither could we but knowing our keeper, we had no choice but to mince our words of praise and replace with discouraging remarks. Nonetheless, that save furthered reinforced Wooki position as the indispensable No. 1 of the Bears.

The first half soon ended with not much action. In our corner, we were given a dressing down by acting manager Kaiyi on our slack play and pussiness. Albertini was further given the hair dryer treatment for not administering his usual dirty and rough play. The 2nd half started soon enough and the Bears were battling once again. This time round, the bears had more purpose and resolve in their attack with Denzyl leading the front with his exquisite first touch and fanciful dribbling, proving more than a handful with his nutmegs and potshots. The midfield was also more steely with Albertini throwing friendship to the wind by manhandling his ex classmates and Angki linking up with Denzyl. In defense the force of nature was just too much to handle with Tax making foraging runs up the flanks. Finally, the Bears machine were clinking well and on its way. Following an interception from Jiesong, Tax controlled the ball and held off the challenges of 2 defenders and cut back the ball into the centre where Denzyl was waiting to pounce. He didn’t need a second invitation as he connected with a sweet strike and the rest is history.

NIELegends kick off. The Bears were mentally fired up and began to challenge for all balls. Their diligence were paid off as they broke down the attack of NIELegends from all parts of the court. As the game plays on, it was soon to reach the climax of the game. Denzyl getting the ball from midfield, proceeded on a mazy run into the heart of the NIELegends defense. It was a visual spectacular to say the least as he drew 1 defender in with a feint pass and did a body faint to elude the second and completed the motion with a draw back to escape the flailing legs of the 3rd defender. He faces Moo and calmly slotted in his 2nd of the game.

With the game firmly in the bag, the Bears were back to their usual fluid self and began stroking the ball around the court. The 3rd goal was a result of their teamwork as they maintained possession and then Tax providing the killer blow by striking the ball into the Legends net for the 3rd of the game. The Legends did reciprocate with a goal from their side but it was all too late as the Bears survived a late barrage to their goal to emerge winners.

Final Score: 3-1
Man of the Match: Denzyl for his brace and his contribution to attack. However, Wooki also deserves special mention for his part in keeping the bears in the game in the 1st half.

1st win. Was more to follow?



Game 2
Legends Team 2 vs FC Marshaller

What was viewed by most to be a walk over match for FC Marshaller turned out to be a great upset for Agent Orange and a great asset for CB United. FC Marshaller marched onto the field, brimming with confidence and overflowing with muscles. However, Legends 2 spotted the classic Chelsea stratagem of crowding the back. And to FC Marshaller’s moans and groans, and to CB united cheers and jubilations, not to mention to the final whistle of the refree, Legends beat Marshaller 1 to nil.


Game 3
Carebears vs Legends 2

Once again, Albertini’s ingenious match schedule fixing skills comes in to play, pitting a well rested CB United against a match fatigued Legends 2. While Legends 2 were given time to rest, they certainly paled in comparison to their starting form. Literally. Despite being the back string players for NIE Legends, they have shown themselves to be versatile in both attack and defense. However, they relied too much on the much loved (only be Chelsea fans)/hated (the rest of the world) lets-crowd-the-back tactic, and showed the scouts what camping really was. Even ex FC Scout player Albertini gave his stamp of approval.

CB United, undaunted by this fine display of Scoutsmanship, brought the game to them, using a deadly combination of wit, subtle movements and The Movement, the Carebears not only managed to overcome a defense tighter then Tze Ho’s ass(hole), but simply demolished the opposition. His football highness Denzyl, mid-field maestro Kaiyi, super keeper and sometimes striker Yee Hung, the ever scheming Albertini, and the Magnetic feet Tak, all landed their names on the score sheet, with a whopping score of 5 – 0 at the final whistle.

Park Yee Hung opened the Carebear's account with a well placed shot from the right, drilling an unstoppable curler into the top left hand corner after being picked out by his highness Denzyl. A beautiful mixture of dribbling and killer finishing. 1 – 0!

Kaiyi, having started the movement for the first goal, created his own chances with a series of dribbles and 1 – 2s between several team mates. Taking a calm and collected shot at goal from an angle, he easily placed the ball into the right top corner of the net. 2- 0!

Not to be outshone by his fellow team mates, Tak Wee wandered upfield with the ball in toll after another well timed intercept. Passing the ball to Kaiyi and letting him work his magic on the defenders, Tak switched flanks to the right, allowing Kaiyi to easily pass the ball to him. The ever steady Tak took the shot without even breaking a sweet, or dropping a hair. 3 – 0!

Living up to his name of the Maestro, Kaiyi won the ball after a tough mid field battle that saw an incredible amount of casualty, (actual count was 0). Bypassing a defender with all skill and grace, he picked out Albertini with a superb through pass. Albertini weaved his own brand of magic by calmly chipping the opposing keeper, with his toe. The famous toe poke lives on forever in the halls of infamy. 4 – 0, and the end of the first half.

The second half was like a different game altogether, with each team probing the other’s defense without making any significant improvements to the scoreline. However, Kai Yi was able to slot in a goal from mid field when he found himself unmarked. That aside, there were fine displays of the movement though none resulted in any goals. Wooki was only tested once when Legends 2 was given a free kick 20 yards out. The opposing player shot went between Albertini and Tak Wee, heading straight for the goal, only to be parried away by Wooki.

All in all, a wonderful outing by the bears and a terrible conclusion to a fairy tale for the Legends 2.

Game 4
NIELegends Team 1 vs FC Marshaller

Based on the table, the Carebears on 2 high-scoring wins and the rest with 1 win and a loss, this was a decisive match, upon which if the result was a draw, the title will be the Carebears to take without the need for a 3rd match.

However, it was not to be so easy for the Carebears, as FC Marshaller soundly beat Legends 1 6-3, with some displays of exquisite marshalling from the Marshaller himself, brilliantly diverting traffic flow with his orange vest, red flag, and relentless barking.

It was end-to-end action throughout the match, with the Legends 1 refusing to give up despite falling behind right from the start of the match. However their efforts to get back into the game were obliterated like Kaiyi's kneecap by the man in orange.

The title must now be fought for between the Carebears and FC Marshaller!


*********FINAL*********
Carebears vs FC Marshaller

Again, Albertini showed his brilliant match schedule fixing skills with the Carebears fully rested and up-and-ready for the game, while FC Marshaller were tired out from their exertions beating Legends 1. Ignoring accusations of bungs and match-fixing allegations, the Carebears went onto the pitch brimming with deluded self-confidence. However, the match was lost even before the ball was kicked, thanks to the fateful coin toss to settle who would play with their shirts on, and who would play topless.

Fate dealt the Carebears a cruel hand as we lost the coin toss and proceeded to bare our slick and well-defined physiques for the world to see. Although our fan base dramatically increased with our topless display, our play was disrupted and we were also now more vulnerable to enemy scratches and manhandles.

As the match wore on we discovered we had greatly underestimated the sheer aggression and dirtiness of the Orange Man. Unbeknownst to the Carebears, hidden behind that deranged countenance was an equally crazed personality, as the Carebears found themselves manhandled, scratched, dirty-tackled, in a word, marshalled, by the Marshaller.

His team-mates were also visibly lifted by their psychotic defender, and lifted their game to another level by stooping to the lower level of physical play. Tempers frayed and temperatures rose as tackles flew left right centre. The Carebears learnt to appreciate their jerseys as their naked torsos were battered, scratched and abused by the opponents.

FC Marshaller was dominating the game and they took the lead as Lady Luck smiled on them once again. From a kick-in, the taker directly shot for goal. The ball deflected off Jun Cheng's leg, and deflected against Wookie's knee one more time before nestling into the bottom corner of the net. 1-0 to FC Marshaller!

The Carebears could not find a way into the game and never really looked like threatening the FC Marshaller goal. We could make it past their forwards and their midfield, but when it came to the defence we could do nothing as we were all efficiently diverted into football oblivion by the ominous red flag of the Marshaller, whose aggression saw him use his stocky frame to great effect, not to mention his brutal nails upon our tender naked torsos.

The Carebears found themselves further back with another lame goal. During a goalmouth scramble in front of the Carebear goal the ball inadvertently hit Takwee in the arm. Although it was a blatant case of ball to hand, the referee did not hesitate to blow for a penalty, which was put away with ease. 2-0 to FC Marshaller!

It was too great a deficit to recover from for the Carebears. Like doing plastic surgery on 2WO MIE, the Carebears knew it was futile to try to play beautiful as ugly tackles, ugly marshalling and dirt ugly faces dominated the court.

Finally it ended 2-0 to FC Marshaller. An ugly game, an ugly end to the Carebear United quest for the title, but deep down in our hearts, both the one on our tummies and the one inside our torsos, we knew we could hold our heads high. Although we could not defend our title, we defended everything that soccer stood for. By refusing to get down and dirty and instead maintaining our dignity and honour, we flew the JOGA BONITO flag high and did Eric Cantona proud.

Videos of dirty play by FC Marshaller have been taken down and promptly posted to Eric Cantona for his reference and neccessary actions. Prepare to see new advertisements on JOGA TV denouncing the art of marshalling in the near future.


brought to you by reporters:
Albert
Wookie
Kaiyi
Yee

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